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 WISE WORDS OF WISDOM


 This thought was given to me by one of the dearest women I've had the good fortune to meet during our csa struggles.  She was herself a mother struggling with her own families hell and yet she reached out to help others.  Her advice to some seemed to be "too much", drastic or even just plain crazy....throughout the five years we've been in therapy with one of the BEST therapists a parent could hope for....i've heard the very same advice she gave, coming from our families therapist, MANY times!!....there were occasions even "I" wondered about this womans' philosophy on csa and it's effects on our children...but, I always put her suggestions to use in our girls discipline and lives and they truly are doing well....anyway....this one tiny "gem" of hers is worth so much I wanted to share it with all the parents here!!....Thank you Dianna, you've been my inspiration throughout my girls healing and all my efforts here in our online parent community....you are truly missed.
"We have heard this a thousand times, knowlege is power!!!  It's importance is significant not only for ourselves, but also for our children!!
 
Due to our child/ren's experiance/s with csa, it is VITAL to educate them about what happened and what they are feeling as a result.  They become filled with confusion and mixed up emotions.  We as parents must help them understand what they are going through.  It is much like preparing them for how their body will change during puberty.  Doing this, takes the fear away and it becomes less of a shock for them when their body does begin to change.   In a sense, our child/ren's bodies have changed prematurely as a result of csa.
 
They live in fear.  Not only the fear forced upon their minds as a result of the abuse, but the fear of "not knowing", not understanding who they have become and why.
 
Our children have lost their ability to trust, in others, in themselves and very importantly; even in us as their parents!!!  If we can assist them to understand what they are now feeling and why they are feeling it, they can again learn to feel trust for us.  Learning to trust in "us", their parents, gives them the ability to trust again."